What is denial? According to Merriam-Webster, denial is defined as “a false system of beliefs that are not based on reality” and “a self-protecting behavior that keeps us from honestly facing the truth.” In psychology, it is defense mechanism sometimes used when we are fearful of facing a situation that is so overwhelmingly difficult; we’d rather pretend it doesn’t exist in order to dismiss or delay the pain of its reality. Being in denial can sometimes be the “pink elephant” sitting in the middle of the living room no one talks about or acknowledges in any way. Adam and Eve are a great example of how secrets and denial separate us from true fellowship with God. After they sinned, their secret separated them from God. Genesis 3:7 tells us that Adam and Eve hid from God because they felt naked and ashamed. 

There are so many reasons why a person operates in denial. When I was going through a divorce in 2004 — after finding out my then-husband was having an affair — I was devastated and humiliated. I felt isolated and ashamed. I lived in denial for a while but eventually sought help. In joining Celebrate Recovery — a Christian support group — shortly after, I was able to find out how to step out of denial and embrace God’s love for me. 

As I began my journey of learning how to transform my life through serving God, making the right decisions while waiting on God was very hard. However, as I walked with God daily, I began to develop a close relationship with Him, trusting in His promises. In Proverbs 3:5-6, we are promised that He will be with us to direct our lives if we trust and acknowledge Him. The Scripture says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight. 

I also discovered the freedom to admit my true feelings and stepped out of denial. That is when the healing began in my life. On this journey, it helped me to know that as I began taking the following steps to get closer to God, He would bless and strengthen me with the courage to face every difficulty so He can accomplish His plan and purpose in my life. And God desires to fulfill His plans in our lives. It says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” 

I grew out of denial and in faith by doing the following…

• Spending time talking/praying to God. Seeking His guidance and support.
• Studying and reading His Word. Joining Bible study groups. 
• Meditating on His promises.
• Praying for others.
• Joining a support group; learning how to share feelings of hurt, which allows us to get past the hurt and begin trusting in God. It is also an opportunity to meet new friends. 

Celebrate Recovery is a 12-Step Christian Ministry that helps to overcome any hurts, habits and hang-ups. It is based on the Beatitudes, found in Matthew Chapter 5. Let’s stay encouraged to step out of denial! Taking off the mask is hard, but it is safe at Celebrate Recovery (www.celebraterecovery.com). Find support groups where you can meet people who will care about you and appreciate you for who you are; people who will stand beside you as truth becomes a way of life. Jesus tells us, “Know the truth and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32). If  you have any questions, please connect with me via email, terezataylor@comcast.net.

Helpful Resources

Celebrate Recovery Christian support group,  www.celebraterecovery.com