Our wedding day was held on a beautiful, hot summer day. I nervously stood by the altar waiting for my beautiful bride-to-be. Time seemed to stop as Yasmin made her way down the aisle. Her dad slightly raised her veil to give her one final kiss as a bachelorette, and kindly advised that I’d better “take good care of her.” We exchanged vows and made a commitment before God to cherish and honor one another from that day forward. 

It’s hard to believe that in the time it took for us to exchange our vows, about nine divorces would have taken place.¹ It’s a sad reality. Crises affect us all, it’s how we cope and deal with the challenges that we face. We each have the choice to either let life’s circumstances break us or make us stronger.   

Throughout the Scriptures, we see the importance of the marriage institution. In the Book of Genesis, we read how God created the heavens, the earth, and all its living creatures. He creates man in his image and finds that all was good except for one thing. “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” (Genesis 2:18 NIV) 

Photograph by Fizkes via Getty Images

From the beginning of time, we read about God’s desire for man to have a relationship with not only Him but with others as well. According to Genesis, it was not good for man to be alone, therefore God created a helper, a partner suitable for Adam. Adam and Eve lived in perfect harmony. They enjoyed endless pleasures in the Garden of Eden. They had the perfect marriage. All the while, Satan was lurking and had plans of his own as he disguised himself as a serpent. The Bible describes him as a thief that only comes to steal, kill, and destroy.  He knew the right words to say and Eve gave in. We see that Adam follows her lead, and sin as we know it entered the world. Talk about a crisis! The world as they knew it would never be the same. 

For many of us, that is how this year has been. Being cooped up in a house all day during this pandemic has certainly been challenging for marriages and can make for stressful times. USA Today suggests a surge in divorces once the courts are fully open.² That is scary considering the divorce rate in the US is almost 50 percent. The enemy continues to lurk and disguise himself in many different ways trying to destroy God’s plan for our marriages, but there is yet hope and restoration found in Jesus Christ who made a way to get our relationships right with God and with others. If he can bring dry bones to life, there is nothing he cannot do for our marriages.  

So how do we work on strengthening our marriages? Let us first look at the most common reasons for divorce. According to a study published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, the four most common reasons for divorce are:

1) Lack of love or intimacy

2) Communication problems

3) Lack of sympathy, respect, or trust 

4) Growing apart³ 

What can we learn from these statistics? LOVE is essential in our marriages. COMMUNICATION is key. RESPECT is needed. QUALITY TIME is a must.

We all know God’s desire for our marriages, but we each need to make the decision to work at what God has given us. Let us each ask the Lord to open our eyes and hearts as we consider these truths about marriage and incite God’s help to apply these principles to our marriages and relationships. We will dive further into each one of the four principles mentioned and why they are essential in future blogs.

References

1 “Divorce Statistics and Facts…,” Wilkinson & Finkbeiner Attorneys at Law, 

https://www.wf-lawyers.com/divorce-statistics-and-facts/#:~:text=Almost%2050%20percent%20of%20all,first%20marriages%20end%20in%20divorce.

2 Maria Puente, “Divorce During Coronavirus…,” usatoday.com,
Jun. 2, 2020,

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/2020/06/02/divorce-during-coronavirus-will-splits-soar-after-pandemic-quarantine-ends/5276370002/

3 Samantha Louriello, “The 4 Most Common Reasons for Divorce, According to Research,” health.com, Aug. 8, 2019,

https://www.health.com/relationships/most-common-reasons-for-divorce